Not the medical examiner

Yesterday morning I got a call

20130705-155651.jpg
from Jane. The first thing she said was, “What are you doing?” I told her that I was keeping the grandchildren until 10:30. Then I asked, “Why?” Well, she commenced to tell me how she had shot this raccoon that was in her garden, and how it had dragged itself into

20130705-195659.jpg
one of her ornamental grasses, and she didn’t know whether it was dead or alive. If it was still in that grass and was dead, she wanted me to dispose of the body.
I told her to get a stick and dig around to see if she could find it, and that I would be there when I could.
A little later she sent me a text, and what follows is a record of our digital conversation.

20130705-210226.jpg
When the grandchildren went home, I went to Jane’s to find that the raccoon had in fact succumbed

20130705-210839.jpg
while trying to exit the ornamental grass.

20130705-211239.jpg
So, Jane brought me a shovel, and I put the raccoon

20130705-211412.jpg
on the back of the golf cart turned funeral coach, which…

20130705-211634.jpg
seemed to grick Jane out.
We rode to the place where the body was catapulted to its final resting place.
Then Jane asked, “Did you see where it was shot?” I said, “No, I’m the funeral director, not the medical examiner.”

3 thoughts on “Not the medical examiner

  1. You just kill me!!! You really can make a good story out of nothing! Not to say that what you did for me was nothing!! Thank you.

  2. What a surprise to open this and see my Janey! She promises only to trap them now, not shoot them! Still, she might need the help of her friend 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s