Last night was quite an adventure, though, not one I care to repeat. About sevenish, my heart rate suddenly elevated. This has happened before and usually corrects on its own, so I wasn’t too worried. There was one time a couple of years ago that it did not correct on its own and I paid a visit to the ER. Everything turned out fine even though they put me in room 13 and gave me a tech named Vladimir. I figured that either God had a sense of humor, or I was really in trouble. It turned out to be the first one. Well anyway, last night after a couple of hours,
I got Donna to take me to the ER. (Joel was out of town.) Now, if you have to go to the ER, it is best to go for something heart related, because you don’t have to wait in line.
They quickly give you a piece of paper jewelry
followed by a lot of stickers of various shapes and sizes. And, you get to wear all that home. If and when you get them off, they leave glue boogers and red shapes, that resemble crop circles, all over you chest and abdomen.
They put me in exam room eight.
After this guy got me settled
and hooked up to everything he could find, they called for Donna to be with me. When she walked into the room, her eyes were big and she was wearing a strange grin. You see, when she found exam room eight,
this was marking the entrance. She said that being assigned to a room with that kind of label would be enough to give a person a heart attack.
They ran all kinds of tests. Everything was normal, except my heart rate, which wasn’t wanting to come down. So the cardiologist suggested that they give me adenosine. The doctor said that it would make me feel funny. I said, “What do you mean, funny?” He said he didn’t know because it had never been given to him, but that the funny feeling would only last a minute. He was right! And, they gave me a double dose, which meant that I felt funny for two minutes.
I wasn’t the only one who felt funny. About the time that they were about to shoot me up with that stuff, Donna and I happened to look at the television. Guess what was on?
It was a show called One Thousand Ways to Die. What are the chances?
Donna chose to watch that show instead of the show going on in and around my bed.
Anyway, the double dose of that stuff that stuff that starts with an “a” did the trick and they turned me loose at 2:45. Boy, were we happy to get out of that place!